Meditation

I have yet to talk about the meditation. I would like to describe what I felt in the meditation, and the process with which I personally approached it. It is a process with which I am rather familiar. My brother taught me to meditate years ago and I've sporadically practiced it since then. Every time is different for me, but I have specific ground rules which help me stay in the game. I can’t think about my plans for the day, I can’t think about mundane things. I can’t "make the gestures of profound thought", which is a frequent danger for me. I am a very dramatic girl, so the temptation is to skip the first part, in which I calm down and clear my head, and skip right to the "deep thoughts" part. This results in tawdry and cliché "revelations" that reveal nothing of my real thoughts and can ruin an entire meditation. My particular attempt at meditation in class was unusually successful. As usual, I started out focusing on my body. I stretched, I practiced deep breathing, and I attempted to relax every muscle in my body. This made me hyper aware of my actions. I focused on the feel of air moving in my lungs and diaphragm, I moved my joints around, and I relaxed facial muscles that I hadn't even realized I had. Then I looked at my skin. The patterns of it, its texture, its color. I knew that my fingertips had a pattern, but I looked at the whole hand. I have a swirl on the upper pad of my left hand, but a loop on the right. The entire thing looked like the surface of a lake, with currents and waves. Skin brought me to a whole new level of self awareness, and pushed me into a scientific mindset and then a religious one. Because I had allowed myself so much focus, I released myself to "ridiculous thoughts". I stopped controlling my mind and just let it wander without censure or regulation. I even allowed myself to think about God as a reality. I took down my assumption that didn't exist, and thought as if I thought it did.
Here is what I thought in a rambling and nonsensical fashion. Feel no need to read this; I just don’t want to forget it.

Why do people believe in a soul? People don’t think of themselves as their bodies. We are our thoughts, our beliefs, and our actions. We are something different from our bodies, because, even after we are gone, our bodies are still here. If our bodies can stay when we're gone, we must be something different. But then why does god look like a man, why does he have a body? God never leaves his body- he is ONLY thought and intention, so why does he need the shell that humans have to house their real selves? If god is purely what we are inside, then god must be pure soul- he is soul embodied. If god is a soul, then how does he make souls? Souls must then, be an extension of him. God is pure energy, bodies are pure matter. The soul within the body- the thing that makes us human- is an extension of god's soul within each individual.

It was a good meditation and I came up with new ideas and a new idea of how to look at god which meshes well with my life force view of deism.